Summary: Gratitude

When first given this assignment i thought it would be so very simple to accomplish. i was a bit wrong. It is not that being grateful for things is foreign to me. It is not that i don't appreciate the people and things (both large and small) in my life. It is a simple thing to be thankful but quite an undertaking to realize and analyze WHY we are thankful. And to understand that if our lives where different, though the vast amounts of other "stuff" we enjoy may vary, the core items we are truly grateful for is similar to everyone. We as people have the same basic needs. The same basic drives. And we crave the same warm, sometimes guiding, emotions.

i am grateful for this opportunity that was given to me.

thanks for listening -
jb

Day 30: Full Circle (10/16/08)

i am grateful for:

1. My amazing fiance who stands by me through thick and thin (& through wedding planning and school projects) and loves me just the way i am.
   
2. My brother & sister who are strong and gifted in their own unique ways.
3. My friends who support and love me and are unafraid to stand up for what/who they believe in.
4. My parents who i have learned along the years are growing and changing people - just like me.
5. My almost family-in-law who offer their assistance whenever they can and with no judgment in their hearts.

Day 29: "i am" statements.... (10/15/08)

1. i am smart, creative and capable.
   
2. i am independent, bold and giving.
3. i am compassionate, empathetic and amazing.
4. i am beautiful, balanced and unique,
5. i am my own.
   

Day 28: If i could do it all again ....(10/14/08)

...i would not change a thing.

1. Lessons of love - experienced and stored for future reference.
   
2. Lessons of grief and loss - learned and turned into sweet memories.
3. Lessons of anger and betrayal - forgiven but never forgotten
4. Lessons of sadness and the taste of tears - nourishment for wounded hopes.
   
5. Lessons of joy - pure and warm and good to coat my dreams in a glittery gold.
   

Day 27: Simple Pleasures (10/13/08)

Though these pleasures are simple to ME i am very aware that they are not so simple to many MANY people throughout the world.

• The roof over my head.
  
• The food on my table.
• The books on my shelves.
  
• The love in my heart.
• The feeling of safety.
  

Day 26: Words to the Wise 10/12/08

• You can never trully love someone - if you can not love yourself.
• Don't judge a book by its cover.
  
• Patience is a virtue i don't have time to wait for. (Sorry - its just funny!)
• The pen is mightier than the sword.
  
• Nothing lost is nothing gained.
  

Day 25: Places i'd like to go 10/11/08

i am a big fan of travel & i keep a TOP 5 list of places i would love to visit. i am grateful that these places exist in general and more specifically:

1. The UK - Is a link to my family's heritage. i am Scots-Irish and i long to see the green, green grass, the woolly sheep and cows and hear the lilting burr that accompanies the words of the people there.
   
2. Italy - Also a part of my heritage. i would like to visit the tiny town of Lauria and see all the other beautiful villages, meet the friendly people, and taste authentic Italian cuisine.
   
3. Boston - i have been to Boston several times and i love the energy of it. Its crowded but not overly so and full of history.
4. Seattle - i have never been to the "Left Coast" and i think i would enjoy the nature here better than the glitz and glamor normally associated with California. It just seems as though it is very earthy and rich.
5. Nova Scotia - Last summer i traveled with my fiances family to Nova Scotia and we stayed in a cottage by the shore. It was peaceful, quiet and beautiful. i felt oddly at home there and would dearly love to return. (Maybe even permanently.)
   

Day 24: Foods 10/10/08

1. i am thankful for ice cream - it reminds me of happy times and childhood summers in the sun.
   
2. i am thankful for spinach - it reminds me of the green-goodness of life and healthy habits.
   
3. i am thankful for V-8 juice - it reminds me of the tangy energy and salty balance.
4. i am thankful for Pipp's bruschetta - it reminds me of the time spent with the people who matter most.
5. i am thankful for veggie broth - it reminds me of the fact the being a vegetarian is not as bland as people assume it to be.
   

Day 23: For the Guidance 10/09/08

1. i am grateful for the guidance of the women in my life. Learning from their mistakes and building upon their successes has helped to shape the strong and independent woman i am today.
   
2. i am grateful for the guidance of the men in my life. Learning from their mistakes and building upon their successes has taught me how i want to be treated by other men and people in general.
3. i am grateful for the guidance of the children in my life. Learning from their mistakes and building upon their successes has made me take a closer look at my life and realize that a good imagination is a terrible thing to waste.
   
4. i am grateful for the guidance of the dogs in my life. Learning from their mistakes and building upon their successes has given me a better understanding of what it means to be loyal and how i shouldn't be ashamed by finding entertainment/joy within the simplest of things.
5. i am grateful for the guidance of the cats in my life. Learning from their mistakes and building upon their successes has allowed me to be unashamed in a little self indulgence and reminded me to take a nap every now and again.
   

Day 22: Lessons in Art 10/08/08

1. i am thankful that i can still find the art in the scribbles of crayon on the pictures on the side of my fridge that were given to me from my soon-to-be-niece.
   
2. i am thankful that i can stand mesmerized in an art gallery for hours.
3. i am thankful that art still evokes emotions from me that i used to think i was too lost to feel.
4. i am thankful that my fiance considers the arch of my eyebrow and the curve of my bottom lip to be masterpieces.
   
5. i am thankful that though i can not paint or sculpt i still see the beauty in the things i create.
   

Day 21: Lessons in Music (Ani DiFranco) 10/07/08

1. “Someone's gotta be interested in how i feel, just because i'm here and i'm real."
2. "When i look down, i miss all the good stuff - when i look up, i just trip over things."
3. "Strangers are exciting, their mystery never ends. But there's nothing like looking at your own history in the faces of your friends."
4. "Just let me go, we have to be able to criticize what we love, to say what we have to say 'cause if you're not trying to make something better, then as far as i can tell, you are just in the way.
   
5. " If there's anything i've learned, all these years in my own, it's how to find my own way there - and how to find my own way back home."
   
   

Day 20: Lessons in Books 10/06/07

1. The Beauty Myth taught me...that the only image of any woman you need to look up to - is your own.
   
2. Shakespeare's Sonnet 130 taught me...that you don't have to be perfect to be loved like a goddess.
   
3. Dr Seuss taught me...to "“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is You-er than You.”
   
4. Anne of Green Gables taught me...stubbornness and pride can lead to your downfall but they can also be your saving grace.
   
5. Diane Ackerman's A Natural History of Love taught me...that love has conquered throughout the ages and in this manner - i am not so different than most.
   

Day 19: Lessons in Movies 10/06/08

1. Being the underdog is not always a bad thing.
   
2. Love WILL find you when/where you least expect it.
3. Hope lives in the heart, the moon and the stars.
   
4. What comes around goes around.
   
5. You're only as good as you want to be.
   

Day 18: Yoga Paper 10/05/08

i recently wrote a paper for my YOGA class to make up for my upcoming absence - due to my wedding/honeymoon in November. My wise, wise instructor gave me the topic of "stress relief techniques for a wedding." This is what i learned:

1. Breathing is good. Deep, calming breaths can work wonders for the nerves AND your brain really likes oxygen.
2. Being present is a gift. The build up of anxiety and activity often causes you to lose sight of the original goal when it comes to weddings. There are so many different things to think about that sometimes you miss what is going on in the NOW.
   
3. Letting go is essential for moving on. You can paddle and paddle but if you are still tied to the dock - you aren't going anywhere. What's done is done and you can't change that fact...so refocus on what's going on NOW and let go of the things you can do nothing about.
   
4. The body needs a break too. A lot of people "store" their stress in various parts of their bodies. Stretching, warming up your muscles, and realigning your bones are good ways to relieve some of this tension. What better way to do those things than to practice simple yoga poses regularly.
   
5. Do or Do Not - there is no Try. OK, so this one is actually from Yoda but let's face it - the guy is was like a Zen master. In order for any of these techniques to work for me i must actually USE them.
   

Day 17: Academic Teachers 10/04/08

1. i am thankful for Mr Harmon - who told me on the last day of class that i was a very talented writer and for the 1st time in my life i actually began to believe that i was.
   
2. i am thankful for Mr. Garland - who lectured in such a fascinating manner that i just HAD to switch around my schedule so i could enjoy the experience a second time.
   
3. i am thankful for Mr. Walker - who was so honest and enthusiastic about his subject that you had no choice but to learn and be enthralled by it all.
4. i am thankful for Mrs. Johnson - who believes that each of her students has the ability to conquer their fear of the subject and become great people because of their understanding.
5. i am thankful for Dr. Cone - who was determined that we would learn like college students because we ARE college students and he is proud of this institution.
   

Day 16: Me (In honor of my birthday 10/03/08)

1. i am thankful for my long legs. Sometimes i actually wish i was a tiny bit taller but i am actually satisfied with my height & the fact that i don't have to ask for help to get things off the top shelf.
   
2. i am thankful for my odd sense of humor - it has gotten me out of some tough times and saved me in many an awkward social situation.
3. i am thankful for my quirky smile and the knowing glance that goes along with it.
4. i am thankful for my big brain that allows me to continuously stuff things into it - i don't always know where it all ends up but i know that its in there somewhere.
5. i am thankful for my strong sense of self...without it i would be someone else. :)
   

Day 15: Beliefs

1. i believe that animals have emotions and can feel just as strongly as any person can - people just take for granted that since they do not speak the language that they are not equal.
   
2. i believe that there are some things/beings worth fighting for - you can make a difference...to somebody's world.
   
3. i believe that if someone really loves you - they'll love you even if they don't fully understand you.
   
4. i believe that you should be who you are - not what others want or expect you to be.
5. i believe that anyone should be able to believe, act, and love as they choose as long as it doesn't hurt others.
   

Day 14: Quotes

i am an avid reader and these are a few of the quotes i have come across that either i agree with or that have helped to change my life/perspective for the better...

1. "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - DR SEUSS
2. "My body is my journal,and my tattoos are my story" - JOHNNY DEPP
3. "To be nobody but yourself in a world that's doing its best to make you somebody else, is to fight the hardest battle you are ever going to fight. Never stop fighting." - E E CUMMINGS
4. "Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." - BUDDHA
5. "Do not fear mistakes. There are none." - MILES DAVIS

Day 13: Charities- i am glad that their efforts seem to be doing some good in this world.

1. i am grateful for P.E.T.A (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) - their tactics, in my opinion, can be extreme on occasion but i agree with their cause.
2. i am grateful for the W.W.F. (World Wildlife Fund) - who are trying so desperately to save endangered species from becoming faint memories.
   
3. i am grateful for the Locks of Love Foundation - who accept my hair every three to five years & do not care what color it is when i send it.
   
4. i am grateful for CARE - who are attempting to help end poverty and educate women and everywhere.
5. i am grateful for http://www.charitynavigator.org - which is a useful tool in selecting charities to donate to and tries to help people who are trying to give not get taken advantage of.
   

Day 12: Mom (my mother's mother) 9/28/08

1. i am thankful for Mom because she cried after i got my first tattoo (many, many moons ago.) In her head people would think bad of me & treat me with disrespect - which scared her.
   
2. i am thankful that even though she & i both know that i am NOT a Christian she still sends me bibles for my birthday - still trying to save my soul.
   
3. i am thankful for Mom because she laughs when she get frustrated or mad - she feels that crying and yelling aren't very productive.
   
4. i am thankful that even at the age of 70-ish she travels around the world, is active in her community and local school system, and takes classes to "occupy [her] time."
5. i am thankful for Mom because even though she is always trying to change me - she still can honestly smile & tell me that she is proud that i am her granddaughter.
   

Day 11: The Past (Memories - take one)

1. i am grateful for growing up with such great siblings. We supported each other as we learned to play, dream, hope, and start to shape ourselves into who we are today. There were bumps and bruises and fights along the way but in the end we knew that we could count on one another.
   
2. i am thankful for past loves who helped to teach me what i wanted from life/love and for myself.
3. i am grateful for my parents and their push for me to be smarter, kinder and better than a sometimes-lazy kid wanted to be.
4. i am thankful for the vast supply of books that that helped to feed my imagination and build upon my creative soul.
5. i am grateful for the fact that i worked hard for what i wanted but was never without things that i needed.
   

Day 10: Party Moments (in honor of Joe's bday & Pete's party)

1. i am thankful for the friend who calls me at 3 a.m. to come get them instead of driving after they've had too much to drink.
   
2. i am thankful for the ability to lead my drunk friends home by carrying a hotdog down the sidewalk for them. (And i am grateful that they appreciate the fact that i did this for them even though i have been a vegetarian for almost 17 years now.)
3. i am thankful to the friend who climbed over the bathroom stall to rescue another friend who had passed out at a club.
4. i am thankful for the hours spent dancing, laughing, and drinking with my very close friends.
5. i am thankful that we are all still around to reminisce about all the foolish things we did so long ago.
   

Day 9: Ani DiFranco Lyrics

1. everything i do is judged
   and they mostly get it wrong
   but oh well
   'cuz the bathroom mirror has not budged
   and the woman who lives there can tell
   the truth from the stuff that they say
   and she looks me in the eye
   and says would you prefer the easy way
   no, well o.k. then
   don't cry

2. i was a long time coming
   i'll be a long time gone
   you've got your whole life to do something
   and that's not very long
   so why don't you give me a call
   when you're willing to fight
   for what you think is real

3. i am a work in progress
   dressed in the fabric of a world unfolding
   offering me intricate patterns of questions
   rhythms that never come clean
   and strengths that you still haven't seen
   for what you think is right

4. i played the powerless
   in too many dark scenes
   and i was blessed with a birth and a death
   and i guess i just want some say in between
   

Day 8: Wedding Planning (PRT 1)

i am thankful for Billiam's patience and understanding while he listens to me shift between questioning and ranting about my decisions for our wedding. He has offered his input queitly and continuosly assured me that he was aware of my tendency towards "passionate outbursts" well before he asked me to marry him.

i am thankful for my mother being cool about letting me be ME for my wedding and for trying not to make too many demands or forbidding me to do the "little things" that seem to make me happy during this arduous process.

i am thankful for my father giving up some of his hard earned money to provide his eldest daughter with the wedding she wants and not making a big deal about the DJ costing $750.00 - even though i know it breaks his frugal heart.

i am thankful for the Leightons' willingness to help however they can - from sewing ribbons on dresses to insisting that i only have to worry about what makes me & Billiam happy. It's amazing what a little encouragement can do for a stressed out girl.

i am thankful for all of my friends who have offered their support & advice during these past months of planning. i am also grateful for their acceptance of this new facet of their friend who used to be so calm and collected and i promise to return to "normal" as of November 16th!!

Day 7: Four Seasons plus One

1. Spring: i am thankful for rainy days and the soft, green grass.
   
2. Summer: i am thankful for air-conditioning and random flashes of lightning.
   
3. Autumn: i am thankful for beautiful leaves and warm apple cider.
   
4. Winter: i am thankful for cold nights made for cuddling and hot chocolate.

i am thankful for the "Man on the Moon" who i still look for when i am outside at night and will probably continue to seek out until the end of my days.

Day 6: Fall Semester '08 - so far.

1.) Psychology - i am grateful for the people i have met in this class and knowledge that is slowly but surely sinking in.
2.) Math - i am grateful for the confidence my instructor has in my ability to grasp these concepts and i hope for patience in learning/retaining them.
3.)Biology - i am grateful for the enthusiasm displayed by my professor - i may not be getting what he is trying to convey but at least i am enjoying the show.
4.) Yoga - i am grateful for the lessons of heart as well as mind and body. i hope to learn balance, patience and peace...or at least learn how to grow towards these things daily.
5.) Brit Lit - i am grateful for the strong desire my professor has for all of his students to succeed and enjoy the literature he so evidently loves. i hope to one day project that kind of excitement and empathy if i should ever become a teacher.

Day 5: My Five Senses

1. Sight - i am grateful for the beauty i find in what others might consider ordinary.
2. Hearing - i am grateful for the soft purr in my ears that lulls me to sleep in the early morning hours.
   
3. Touch- i am grateful for the feeling of safety i get when my fingers are entwined with those of the man i love.
   
4. Smell - i am grateful for the smell of apples and Old Spice which remind me of my grandfather - even though i have no idea why.
   
5. Taste - i am grateful for the tangy, acidic taste of steamed spinach.
   

Day 4: Why i am thankful for Sundays...

1. On the rare Sunday i get to lay on the couch with Billiam & watch dvds, read & talk. No running around doing errands and no obsessive researching & studying.
2. i don't have to cook. i don't like to cook all that much but i seem to be the one who cooks the most around here - normally because of my school schedule versus his work schedule - so the break is nice.
   
3. ice cream waffles for breakfast ... need i say more?
4. Visiting family. i don't know why exactly but Sundays seem to be the best day of the week to visit parents. We get to share news, eat good food, and laugh a lot.
   
5. Laundry. It piles up all week and takes most of the day to complete. By Sunday night it is finally all folded & put away. (And the dryer sheet smell still hangs around in the hallway.)
   

Day 3: For September 19th, 2008

Top 5 best things to happen this week:

• Today (19th) is Little Jenny's birthday. She has been with my older brother for over 5 years (with brief stints in Brazil - which is where she's originally from.) We call her Little Jenny because i am jenni & it gets kinda confusing when we hang out together...that and she's tiny.
• i made a 95 on my math test - i did not think i was going to get a good grade because i am not normally good in math AND i tend to not test well but - there ya go.
  
• My Uncle Larry called to inform me that he & my Aunt Trish WILL be attending my wedding in November - which is supercool!
• My appointment with the wedding venue director was pushed back until next Tuesday - which is good because now Billiam can go with me & i was so busy with my school work this past week that i had not filled out their paperwork yet.
• Tuesday - i got to spend some extra time with Billiam. With my new semester schedule and the 50-ish hours a week he works we don't get to spend as much time together as we are used to/like , Tuesday however; we ate breakfast and attempted to play Raquet Ball. (AND neither of us got hurt!)
  

Day 2 : Friendly & Furry Faces

1. i am thankful for Magpie - she's an anomaly in the land of orange tabby cats and a pain in...whatever part of my body she decides to use as a spring-board at 3 a.m. every morning and i love her immensely.
2. i am thankful for Artemis - she's a good listener, welcome company when i am home alone, and a pretty, well-behaved puppy.
3. i am thankful for Porter because he's the best at giving people the stink-eye (& it's hysterical!) and he likes to tunnel under whatever excess cloth i may be wearing or using.
4. i am thankful for Buddy because he has people-face & stoner-kitty eyes and because he gives me a daily reminder of when he's to be fed...for about an hour.
   
5. i am thankful for Napoleon & Pavlov (even though they have been gone for awhile) because they were the perfect pets in their own unique ways. They played, they learned, and they made everyone who knew them feel special and loved.
   

Day 1: The first 5 "usual suspects"

i am grateful for the following:

1. My amazing fiance who may not always understand me but accepts & loves me for/because of the crazy-lady that i am.
2. My brother & sister who are always there for me & are good for a laugh.
3. My friends who i don't get to see as often as i'd like but i appreciate the time i do get to spend with them more because of it.
4. My parents who are slowly learning to just smile, nod & tell me that they love me for my uniqueness - even if none of us actually buys it.
5. My almost family-in-law who always have a smile & a hug even though not all of them seem to know what to do with me yet.